14 Inches Of Poo

I just took a dump, and I swear it must have been about 14 inches or so long, at least! It was broken up into two seperate pieces, but from what I can see, 14 inches plus is a safe bet.

I had been sitting at my desk, feeling the urge that I might have to go before I left at 1pm. I pondered if it was necessary, and thought about actually having to go at the Hunter College bathrooms and it gave me the notion that I should just try, as my mother used to tell me when I was little and going to go out somewhere that did not have an ideal restroom.

While I was awaiting word that my other blog had successfully been pulblished I farted. It was a long gassy one, and I was able to feel something go up my buttcrack and out my pants. What was that?, I thought. Concerned I may have just shit myself I sat, frozen. I then proceeded to put my left index finger down my crack to see if I was able to draw out a smell, no smell. I then turned my light blue shirt around to see if poop flew up and out of my pants onto my nice light blue shirt. I then deemed it safe to walk to the Men's room. I went, put the cool liner down, sat, and then WHAM! All of a sudden this huge turd decided to pop out of my butt.

I sure wasn't expecting such a big surprise, but was fascinated by its length. I did the old spread hand technique to get the size of turds. While it might not be fully accurate, it is way better than going on a "I need to borrow your ruler" run about the 24th floor.

The restrooms also has a new automatic papertowel dispensor, which doesn't seem to want to give adequate amounts of towels to dry my hands, so I need to keep waving my hands liek a cool in the bathroom in order to fool it into giving out more paper towels.

Such a productive way to spend time.